The Spoken Word

Hello all,

For those of you that care (and I know there are not many) I have not blogged for a while with anything useful because I have had a kind of melancholy come over me with this whole blogging thing. Trying to constantly think up witty and funny things to say is quite hard and I cannot be bothered to type things like what I ate for breakfast or what my dog had for lunch. Also, looking around at other blogs I have come to the conclusion that about 99% of the blogs out there are either political rants, adverts or just so boring that I wonder why these people bother updating their blogs at all.

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I heard on the news last night that Bill Gates and his wife are expecting a baby in June.

I’m betting the baby will be late.

The character James Bond has a peculiar style of introducing himself by calling first Bond, then followed by great smile & finally James Bond. His style is absolutely killing but he doesn’t know the consequences when he meets our great south indian guy.

When Bond meets a cyberabad guy

James Bond : “My name’s Bond…(smiles and then says)…. James Bond.”
James Bond: “And you?”

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The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

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One Star Hangover (*)

No pain. No real feeling of illness. You’re able to function relatively well However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 sodas and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.

Two Star Hangover (**)

No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

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When I Take a long time to finish, I am slow.
When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.

When I don’t do it, I am lazy.
When my boss does not do it, he is busy.

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How To Shower Like A Woman

• Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
• Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
• If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

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Where did the Malayali study?
In the ko-liage.

Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?
He is very bissi.

Why did the Malayali buy and air-ticket?
To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in the Gelff.

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